She’s not the one that we want

Ah, the righteous anger of the British public. You know what could have saved James or Ella from the bottom two? IF YOU’D ACTUALLY VOTED FOR THEM. I can guarantee that all of the people whining on Twitter or Facebook or Digital Spy or wherever haven’t voted for the X Factor in years, if at all, so you can’t get too upset when the tone deaf shut ins all vote Christopher through.

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The Odds Were Never In Their Favour

Ok, first off, quick shout out to Strictly this weekend, which I think we can all agree is vastly superior when Claudia Winkleman is allowed to get involved, and the BBC really need to retire Bruce/sack Tess/WHATEVER GET HER ON EVERY SATURDAY.

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Bye Kye

I am almost out of patience with this year’s X Factor, to be honest. Anyone who could have been vaguely interesting (MK1, Jade, Lucy, Melanie) have gone (and not before most of them were ruined by their mentors) and now we’re stuck with all the most boring ones. If Rylan had gone this week, I’d have been tempted to stop watching entirely. IT’S JUST SO DULL.

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Star Wars Episode VII: Attack of the Nerds

Guess what everyone? Disney has gone and bought LucasFilm off of George Lucas, and they are releasing the long-rumoured (but nobody ever thought would ACTUALLY happen) Episode  VII in 2015. I was going to just stick a link up on Facebook, but my thoughts on all this are far, far too complicated for that, so I’m having a blog instead. Please humour an old man.

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Purple hair today, gone tomorrow

I have done a completely 180 turn on my opinion of Gary Barlow. Last week, I complained how he was destroying the show by sucking away any fun he could. Apparently, it’s quite a popular opinion, since I’ve seen several articles this week also slagging him off. Apparently, seeing a turn in the public’s opinion, we welcomed the old-school, desperate, PLEASE LOVE ME BRITAIN, 1997-era Gary Barlow, and it was glorious. He has turned into a cloying, one man TV car crash whose jokes can clear a room, and I could watch it all day.

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Films and That: Skyfall

Fun story: whilst queueing to get into the cinema, some chavs started having a fight next to us all, swearing and bleeding and their daughters screaming and the like. Harlow, ladies and gentlemen!

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33% of nothing

Last week, I was banging on about how much I love The Scherzinger (AND I BLOODY LOVE HER). This week, a few words on how much Gary Barlow has utterly jumped the shark, from slightly grumpy but still constructive and very good looking judge, into COMPLETE AND UTTER VACUUM OF FUN. First the consistent hatred of Rylan, then his love of James Arthur, jizzing himself over “bringing meaning” to the lyrics of Sexy and I Know It (!), and finally, slagging off Ella because she doesn’t want to literally stand stock still every bloody week. With the consistent War On Barlow almost claiming it’s third victim in as many weeks this week, I can totally see him quitting this year, and I won’t be sorry in the slightest.

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