I haven’t blogged in ages. I know, I’m the laziest person in the entire world, but I’m hoping my second annual awards will revive my love of forcing my opinions about shit on to people. Particularly with Oscar season rapidly approaching.
Anyhoo, to the awards. Some categories from last year have been kicked out and some new ones have been introduced, but as ever just pick your favourite in each list. DEMOCRACY.
There’s no “Best Eurovision song” category this year, and that’s simply because the majesty of “Euphoria” left it pretty much moot, let’s face it. Thus, I have awarded it the title to save us all some time, and Loreen’s been upgraded to the main prize. Well done Loreen.
Yeah, these are some pretty gay lists. I’m sorry and everything, but if you want to see YET ANOTHER poll rank Frank Ocean as the greatest album of the year, go read the Guardian.
Well, she’s released her usual 87 singles, chances were Rihanna was bound to get at least a few nominations. And FYI, Where Have You Been might have gotten a “Best Single” nom too, but technically the song itself was released last year, even if the video was released in 2012.
I know that the NDubz solo careers have flopped like a fat chick at a swimming pool, but under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should any of them see this as a reason to reform.
Best Single released by an X Factor Contestant
Another category got the chop: “Best X Factor Contestant”, since you know, they were all shit this year.
Best UK TV Show
I know what you’re thinking “WHERE THE HELL IS DOCTOR WHO?!” but it won by such a ridiculous margin last year, I’ve decided to spin it off into it’s own category to give the other shows a bit of a chance (even though I predict Sherlock running away with it)
Best Doctor Who episode
A Town Called Mercy didn’t make the cut. Mainly because, you know, it was a bit rubbish.
Best US TV Show
Good news! Parks and Recreation has been bought by BBC4 so it’s FINALLY going to premiere in the UK. Not sure what date yet, but when it does YOU ALL NEED TO WATCH IT.
Technically I shouldn’t really have done this category yet, since I haven’t seen Life of Pi, which by all accounts is completely amazing. However, if it was included, it’d knock out the Dark Knight which in some dark circles of the Internet is enough to get you lynched so it’s probably for the best.
Most Anticipated Film of 2013
Lots of big blockbusters to look forward to next year, all with some apprehension attached. Prequels are usually rubbish, Superman is getting a “gritty reboot” and I can’t be the only one sick to the back teeth of those, Catching Fire has changed director which is never a good sign, Iron Man 2 was wank, and Star Trek might be straying a little too far down the “gritty route” too. Still, all footage/trailers/previews so far have looked amazing so I’m probably worrying over nothing.
Almost exclusively Olympians and superheroes. 2012 seems to be the year when popular culture embraced that men could perved over as openly as women. From Andrew Garfield’s spray-on Spiderman costume, to Tom Daley’s barely there Speedos, to Harry Judd getting naked at the first opportunity, it’s a good time to be gay or a straight women.
Good luck with this one, boys and lesbians. These is some sexy womens.