Star Wars Episode VII: Attack of the Nerds

Guess what everyone? Disney has gone and bought LucasFilm off of George Lucas, and they are releasing the long-rumoured (but nobody ever thought would ACTUALLY happen) Episode  VII in 2015. I was going to just stick a link up on Facebook, but my thoughts on all this are far, far too complicated for that, so I’m having a blog instead. Please humour an old man.

Reasons this is a good thing:

  • Star Wars has been pretty much a dead franchise for almost a decade, so a reinvigoration of it should be good no matter what.
  • Sci-fi lends itself quite well to endless sequels and reboots – Doctor Who, Battlestar Galactica, Star Trek etc.
  • Disney bought Marvel a few years ago, and that was pretty much the best thing that ever happened to it.
  • George Lucas won’t be in charge, just a “creative consultant” which is by FAR the best news about it. He’s been jizzing the Star Wars name up the wall for years, and the only one he didn’t have full control over was “The Empire Strikes Back” aka The Best One.
  • Because everyone loves Star Wars so much, you could realistically convince the best screenwriters, directors and actors to really do the job right.
  • Just because it’s Disney (which is mainly known for making films for kids) doesn’t mean they can’t make good films. Look at Pixar.

Reasons this is a bad thing:

  • The prequels sucked literally all of the balls and ruined the legacy of the first three, and there is, right now, no reason to think these ones won’t do the same.
  • While everyone loves Star Wars, it’s pretty much a poisoned chalice after the prequels. It turned the entire Internet against George Lucas, killed Ewan McGregor’s career, and strangled Hayden Christensen’s at birth.
  • Jar Jar Fucking Binks. He was put in to please the kiddies, and merchandise-loving Disney might want to do something similar.
  • It should in no way involve any of the original actors, but if they HAVE to, they should in no way be the focus of the movie. They are all too old, and weird looking. Mark Hamill, bless him, looks like a knee.
  • Disney does love to milk a franchise way past it’s natural end (I’m looking at you Pirates of the Caribbean) and I don’t want my beloved Star Wars to turn into Police Academy in Space.

Honestly, all things considered, I think this is pretty much the best thing that could have ever happened to Star Wars. A breath of life into the franchise, plus with Crazy Ol’ Man Lucas out of the picture we have chance of abominations like this happening again.


About rmdbutler

2007 Brit Award nominee for Best International Female
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