Oh, Glee. Honestly, the most frustrating television programme on at the moment. Back in’t day, it was original, witty and genuinely enjoyable. Now, whilst there are still glimmers of that show around, every single week during season 3 there’s been something to piss me off. And normally REALLY piss me off. To the point where I had planned this post for weeks ago, but the finale fucked me off to such an extent, it’s taken this long for me to calm down.
So, for the most part, this is a collection of all the best songs from the last year on Glee, but it’s me and therefore there’s a great big slab of opinion to go with it. If you don’t want to bother you can skip the next few paragraphs.
Things that season 3 got right: Santana, who is consistently amazing, Coach Roz, who literally never fails to make me laugh, the sparse uses of Sue who had really started to grate, Helen Mirren as Becky’s internal monologue, Matt Bomer as Blaine’s brother (the most attractive gene pool EVA), the Whitney episode, the tightness of Ricky Martin’s jeans, Sugar, just…. Sugar, the decision to bring back the extremely fit Chord Overstreet, Kurt and Blaine’s ridiculous and gaymazing black and white holiday special, Rachel’s dads, the Trouble Tones, and actually providing continuity in the lesser characters’ storylines like Coach Beiste and Karofsky.
Things season 3 got very, very wrong: Finn, who is the worst character on television but everyone on the show seems to think is Jebus himself (don’t even get me started I could literally write an entire blog post about how terrible Finn is), Mr Schue who manages to learn a lesson every fucking week and yet never remember what it is the very next week and has to learn it all over again, Rory, whose characterisation was literally “Irish” to the point where it was borderline offensive, the Shelby/Puck affair, URGH, the decision to give Tina a storyline (BITCH CAN’T ACT), the lack of stripping from Sam after his first episode back, the disco episode, the consistent lack of Emma and New Directions winning every competition they entered despite never being more lacklustre than in those episodes. HOW COULD THEY WIN SECTIONALS WITH THE JACKSON CRAP WHEN THE TROUBLE TONES WERE RIGHT THERE?! Entirely unbelievable.
Anyway, on with the tunes. At the start of the season, the music was pretty lacklustre, relying too heavily on showtunes until the West Side Story storyline was out of the way. There was a moment when it all got better, but…. I’ll get to that in a bit.
10. So Emotional
I don’t really know why I love this one so much, it doesn’t really do anything new with song, and the performance is hardly spectacular, but there’s just something so fun about it, I had on repeat after the episode aired. Double points if you’re a lesbian, I’m fairly sure the decision to have Naya Rivera and Lea Michele spanking themselves whilst singing to each other about love was entirely for your benefits.
9. Without You
I don’t particularly like the original of this, maybe because I can’t stand Usher, so this epic power ballad version starring Rachel is much more palatable to me. FYI, to Glee though, I love when songs are completely changed from their originals, but maybe make some ballads dancier, rather than always doing it the other way around?
8. I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)
I know exactly why I love this not exactly amazing version so much. I ship Brittana to an almost unhealthy extent. I love them. Plus, Heather Morris’ dancing is INSANE.
7. We Found Love
As a marriage proposal it’s shit. I hate it. It’s not romantic, it’s tacky and frankly mocking of Emma’s OCD (which Will does all the fucking time, so I don’t know why I’m surprised). But as a performance, it’s Santana and Rachel singing one of my favourite songs, with some awesome synchronised swimming, and fabulous old-timey swimming costumes. Amazing.
6. Survivor/I Will Survive
TROUBLE TONES TIL I DIE. Annoyingly, the official performance video on Youtube isn’t working because Santana and Britney do a tango and it’s amazing. Oh and ❤ at Sugar doing the “WHAT”s in Survivor.
5. Shake It Out
Another slowed down ballad version of a song, and it’s entirely beautiful. One of the few Glee covers that can challenge the original in amazingness stakes. And considering the original is VERY amazing, that’s saying something.
4. Smooth Criminal
Santana. In a hat. With cellos. Yeah.
3. Boogie Shoes
When the Glee Project was on last year, it was trying to find a new cast member for the main show. It found Rory and Joe. Boo. But one of the “runners up” was Wade, a big fat black gay boy who was generally considered too similar to Kurt and Mercedes. Thus, the decision to bring him in as a literal combination of Kurt and Mercedes, the utterly fabulous, transgendered Unique, was a stroke of genius, and if she isn’t a regular cast member in season 4, Imma smack a bitch.
2. How Will I Know
Rather than tackle one of Whitney’s big ballads as a tribute to her (to be fair, Mercedes had already done “I Will Always Love You” a few weeks before), Kurt, Santana, Rachel and Mercedes did this amazing, stripped back version and it’s both beautiful and heart-breaking. A triumph.
1. Rumour Has It/Someone Like You
Adele is amazing. We all know and accept this. The Trouble Tones are amazing. Clearly. Glee mash ups have a long and solid history of being amazing. Thus when this turned up half way through a season of Glee that had been struggling in the “amazing song” stakes (no songs from before this one are in this countdown) it made everyone sit up and pay attention to Glee again. It really is amazing, and the only thing that makes it even more amazing, was when Santana left the stage immediately after the song to smack Finn one. In my opinion, all songs should end that way.