EUROVISION WEEK. Therefore, what with this being the gayest blog possibly ever, I shall be celebrating with a Eurovision themed post every day this week.
So to kick off, I went through all the UK entries from the last 20 years (I’m not going back any further than that without serious amounts of alcohol to get me through) and have therefore picked the five best one for your enjoyment. Tomorrow you’ll be getting the five worst entries, which may not sound entertaining, but I plan to rip them apart like the massive bitch I am, so that’ll be fun.
5. Precious – “Say It Again” (1999)
I’m a sucker for a girl band, hence my borderline-inappropriate obsession with the Saturdays, hence I love this, whereas most people… wouldn’t. Anyway, this was the sort of R’n’B-ish pop ballad that Eternal could have done in their sleep, but it still makes it better than most other Eurovision songs. Plus, one of the blonde girls is Jenny Frost from Atomic Kitten/Snog, Marry, Avoid which is fun.
4. Jade Ewen – “It’s My Time” (2009)
Yeah, the song is generic as fuck, but Jade belts it out (it’s quite sad seeing her all innocent, not knowing the awful future of the Sug4babes was lying in wait), she accidentally gets his by a violinist at one point, which is pretty funny, plus the far far too intense look on ALW’s face at the end is hilarious, if terrifying.
3. Katrina and the Waves – “Love Shine a Light” (1997)
The only time the UK has won in my lifetime, this is actually a really good song. I mean, it’s no Walking on Sunshine, but who couldn’t love a song that’s just so adorably naive?
2. Gina G – “Ooh Aah… Just a Little Bit” (1996)
In possibly the biggest travesty of our times (and I don’t just mean at Eurovision) this ridiculously gay CLASSIC only finished in 8th. 8th. Hideous. It’s basically impossible not to hear this song and not want to dance around the room. It’s amazing. And so very, very gay.
1. Jessica Garlick – “Come Back” (2002)
Yeah, I picked this over the Euro-trash club banger. And I’m not sorry. This is basically the perfect Eurovision song, plus Jessica (who was a finalist in Pop Idol 1) opened the door for all the other reality TV rejects to flood the system over the last ten years. And I’d prefer picking an X Factor/Popstars/Fame Academy loser over someone completely faceless any day of the week.
Anyway, tomorrow it’s the turn of the worst songs of the last twenty years. Expect most of them to have come quite recently.