I was so looking forward to this year’s Brits. I’ve gotten into music so much more over the last couple of years, and so the celebration of the best of British (or to put it another way, Adele) seemed like a very nice way to spent my evening. How wrong I was.
OK, so even ignoring the fact that Bruno Mars and Lana Del Ray both won awards (I can’t stand either), or that most of the performances were like beige paint drying live on ITV, the production of it was just horrendous.
Whoever thought it would be a good idea to have those stupid little films about the Best Album nominees was just plain wrong, and it made them look even stupider when after an entire evening hyping up this one award, the winner (the glorious Adele) wasn’t even allowed to finish her speech! She was barely able to start it.
Then there’s poor old Emeli Sandé. After winning the Critics Choice award, and apparently going to at least four different karaoke bars, if the Mastercard ads were anything to go by, she wasn’t even allowed on the stage to make her speech! After being announced as the winner, the camera cut to her looking a bit embarrassed, and then straight to an interview with Jessie J talking about the award!
I had no problem with James Corden as the presenter, he made some moderately funny jokes (didn’t enjoy the post-Rihanna period one though) and actually seemed to like the artists he was interviewing, which is more than can be said for Dermot on the X Factor, and on the ITV2, after show thing he seemed genuinely distraught that he had to interrupt Adele. Speaking of ITV2, a message for them: STOP HIRING KEITH LEMON. HE’S JUST AWFUL.
As for the winners, nothing too controversial. If you’ve been paying attention to Twitter for the last two months, One Direction’s win was a crushing inevitability, and although “Someone Like You” (which won the Television and That award for Best Single 2011, just saying) is a VASTLY superior song, “What Makes You Beautiful” is nice enough. Better than JLS’ crap-fest anyway. Adele completely deserved her double, I don’t particularly mind Ed Sheeran, and as usual the International winners were dictated by who actually bothered to turn up.
To be honest, the performances were all a bit of a let down. No proper medleys, no mash ups, no surprise duets. There was no amazing performance, just a few ordinary ones. Boo.
Coldplay – “Charlie Brown”: Nice enough, but not exactly their most rousing of songs. A nice light show, but nothing that wasn’t done better when they were on the X Factor final. 7/10
Florence + the Machine – “No Light, No Light”: Actually much better than when she performed on the X Factor, particularly her make up. I mean, I’m paler than any human being has any right to be, and even I thought she looked like a corpse then. But tonight she looked very nice, and her performance wasn’t as screechy as she can sometimes get. Not memorable at all though. 7/10
Olly Murs & Rizzle Kicks – “Heart Skips a Beat” – Urgh. Was he trying to be out of tune for the ENTIRE song? It’s appropriate this happened on Shrove Tuesday, cos his singing was flat as a pancake throughout. Even his entrance was done better, two years ago, by Cheryl Cole of all people. This score would be lower but I awarded Rizzle Kicks a point each for being quite good. 4/10
Ed Sheeran – “Lego House”: Very nice. A nice song, a nice voice, just… nice. Would have had more impact if the “simplistic acoustic” thing hadn’t been done last year by Adele to a much greater effect. Also, is it just me or is Ed quite good looking from some angles and completely not from others. He’s like Two-Face from Batman. Bizarre. 8/10
Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds & Chris Martin – “AKA… What a Life!”: Considering this song has an exclamation point in it, you wouldn’t think it would be so fucking boring. 3/10
Adele – “Rolling in the Deep”: I wish she would have done another song. I mean, I love this one ad all, but you can turn Capital FM on and you’ll hear it within 30 mins. In an ideal world, she would have either done the Glee mash-up of “Someone Like You” and “Rumour Has It” or been joined by David Guetta for a cover of “Titanium”. Can you even imagine how awesome that would have been?! Still it’s Adele doing singing, so it was still incredible 8/10
Bruno Mars – “Just the Way You Are”: Being incredibly single, and very bitter about the fact, I hate this song. But Bruno actually did something different with his song, which no one else bothered to do, and it sounded all the better for it. 7/10
Rihanna – “We Found Love”: The only performance of the night that actually felt like a massive Brit Awards performance. Ironic really, since it felt like Rihanna herself wasn’t that into it. The best of a mediocre bunch. 8.5/10
Blur – Loads of things: OK, first of all this doesn’t count as a medley. Stopping a song and the starting another one isn’t a medley. Second of all, I realise they’re Blur and they’re legends and they did so much for British music, blah blah blah, but at this point it is just slightly drunk middle aged men jumping and screaming around a stage and I personally found it all rather embarrassing. Good songs though. 6/10