No Matter Gay, Straight or Bi, Lesbian, Transgendered Life.

A feature-length episode of Glee where we’re promised lots of gayness, a version of “Born This Way” and Kurt back at McKinley? Why Fox, you do spoil us so.

Glee is the gayest show in the whole wide world. I don’t mean that in the Radio 1 sense of the word, I mean in the actual “homosexual” sense. I love Glee for so many reasons, but for showing America, of all places, that the gays are just dandy is deffo in the top 10.

So, let’s start with gays, and first up, Kurt. I enjoy the Warblers, and I very much enjoy Blaine and his dreamy dreamy eyes, but McKinley really hasn’t been the same without our favourite homo. Nor has the show been the same without his ridonkulous outfits. I’m not sure I quite buy how easily the whole Karofsky thing was settled, like it was just thrown aside to get Kurt back. But get him back it did, so I’m not complaining too loudly. And it got us more of Burt being amazing, which is always a good thing. Plus we got the insanely sweet serenade from Blaine. Swoon.

As for the other leading gay, Santana is rapidly becoming my favourite character. Not only does she have some epic bitchy, one-liners to rival even Sue, we’re now treated to her scheming to get Brittany and even an internal monologue, which, as you can imagine, is utterly Made Of Win. But not only is she the most fabulous bitch on television atm, you really can feel for her as she tries to win Brittany. She is “villain” with believable motiviations, something Sue has always lacked and the final scene as she sat sadly with Karofsky in her “Lebonese” t-shirt was just heartbreaking.

Speaking of: if Karofsky is so scared everyone will know he’s gay, why did he show up to school in that Bully Whips outfit? Don’t get me wrong, they’re amazing but no straight man has ever worn a beret.

Rachel, meanwhile, was discussing getting a nose job, after she was brought down by Finn’s dancing. Frankly, I’m just surprised this is the first time it’s happened. Anyway, she went off on one (as she is prone to doing) before Kurt and a Barbra themed flash mob convinced her otherwise. That’s basically the entire storyline, but it did lead to some sweet moments between Rachel and Finn, and made Rachel completely sympathetic for once.

How come Quinn has been a main character for two years and yet this is the first time anyone has worked out that her real name is Lucy? Not even Finn? I mean it would have been brought up the hospital when she had the baby surely? Anyway, apart from that I quite liked her storyline, plus it made me notice just how pretty Dianna Agron (Srsly, girl be fiiiiine) and made me fall a little bit more in love with Lauren and all of her fierceness.

Then there was some more Will and Emma stuff which for the first time in a forever was not tedious. Nice. And I completely adored the scene with Emma in the shrink’s office. Although, was anyone else slightly annoyed that Will hounded Emma for her ginger t-shirt (loved her speech about the ginge too) and tried to force unwashed fruit upon her but all he put on his t-shirt is “Buttchin”? Seriously?! That’s all he could think of?!

The Songs

I Feel Pretty/Unpretty – LOVE. IT. Not only is this one of the most beautiful versions Glee has ever done, but it even managed to make a Quinn/Rachel duet work when by all rights it should be hideously one-sided. Honestly, one of my favourite ever Glee performances. A*

I’ve Gotta Be Me – Yawn. I think this was one of the ones that was added in once it was decided on the extra runtime, and it really wasn’t necessary. D

Somewhere Only We Know – As I said. Swoon. A

As If We Never Said Goodbye – I love Kurt but I really don’t know the classic Broadway shows at all (I know, shocker) so these songs I slightly wasted on me. But Chris Colfer sold it completely as always. B

Born This Way – Disappointing. Not only was the gay line cut out for the programme (Ridick) but it just felt a little too karaoke-y for my tastes. Fortunately it was completely saved by one of the best performances of the season so far. A

The Quotes

You have weird, puffy, pyramid nipples. They look like they’re filled with custard. You could dust them with powdered sugar, and they could pass for dessert. – Santana

I’m a closet lesbian and a judgmental bitch, which means one thing: I have awesome gaydar. – Santana

First of all, I saw you checking out Sam’s ass the other day. You really need to be more careful about your leering.
I was not. I was just seeing what jeans he was wearing.
Like that’s any less gay – Santana and Karofsky

Look, I’m not ready to start eating jicama or get a flattop, either. Maybe in junior college. – Santana

The only straight I am is straight-up bitch. – Santana (I genuinely want this on a t-shirt)

Is she here?
This is a mall in Ohio – Rachel and Kurt about Barbra

Plus, we have gif that pretty much sums up the entire series.

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About rmdbutler

2007 Brit Award nominee for Best International Female
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