The Curse of the Rubbish Episode

Every year in Doctor Who, there’s one of those episodes that just sort of… happen. You don’t dislike them, exactly, they’re just the first ones you go to skip when the DVD is out. Think “Vampires of Venice”, “The Doctor’s Daughter” or “42”.

And hopefully, here is the Season 6 version. I say hopefully, because I do not want this season to stoop so low again. It wasn’t even a bad episode, per se, just staggeringly below average.

After the mind-fuckage of the last couple of weeks, I was one of the few people looking forward to an episode off from the “Lost”ness of all the mysteries and questions. A nice standalone, fun adventure with pirates. And beards. Lovely. But instead the first half was just the cast running around the ship trying to figure out how Lily Cole was getting in, and the second half trying to figure out how to get Rory away. Yawn. Doctor Who with pirates should be ridiculous, bonkers fun not…. this.

It wasn’t all bad/average though. Karen Gillan was superb, really trying her best to make us believe that Rory had been killed AGAIN. I mean, I didn’t believe it for an instant, but it was still amazing acting on her part. And that other Amazonian redhead, Lily Cole, was also amazing. A beautiful piece of CGI, and when she kept suddenly turning red, genuinely scary. Plus, there was some lovely comedy going on, particularly when Rory was trying to get to the Siren. And the alien bogeys. Loved those.

As for the bad, well:

  • Why was no-one stopping the pirates going to the Siren? Everyone’s trying to keep Rory and that snot-faced kid away, but fuck the pirates.
  • The snot-nosed kid. Yeurch. I was genuinely pleased and admiring of the balls it took to kill a kid on prime time BBC One, but of course he came back.
  • So… shattered glass just stops reflecting?
  • I do not buy Hugh Bonneville as a ruthless murdering pirate. Not for one second.
  • I do not buy that a 17th Century pirate could sail a spaceship. Not one bit.
  • Where did Libby’s Dad off of EastEnders go? One minute he had the black spot, the next he was gone.
  • How did the Siren jump out of the water in the barrel during the storm? I’m willing to bet that water was not calm since the barrel was having the shit knocked out of it.
  • Oh it’s a father and a son. They’re not close. He loves gold too much. I wonder what’ll happen by the end? That’s right the same thing that always happens with these storylines. The dad’s redeemed, learns his lesson, they go off all happy. Shocker.
  • Why did everyone else end up in a hospital bed, but the Doctor Amy, and Avery were just dumped in the hold?

Sigh. I hate episodes like this because Doctor Who should be better. I’m not angry, just disappointed.

But srsly, what the fuck is that eyepatch lady about?! I’m certain she’s got something to do with Amy’s “pregnancy”.


About rmdbutler

2007 Brit Award nominee for Best International Female
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2 Responses to The Curse of the Rubbish Episode

  1. cupidsbow says:

    Although I was looking forward to a stand-alone episode, I feel like this one had so much potential and then didn’t really deliver. Like the story itself was good, with the siren as the ‘baddie’ and all, and then it didn’t really work. I agree with all the bad stuff, particularly them killing off the kid, I was like you, thinking that it was so ballsy and then they brought him back! And I thought the exact same thing about everyone except those three ending up in the hospital ward. Because sure, Rory and the boy were both actually dying, Rory was drowning and the boy had typhoid fever, but all the other pirates just had cuts or whatever. So were all the other people in the hospital ward those pirates, who weren’t actually dying, or were they other people that she had got before this episode started, and they were actually dying, and all the pirates with nicks and burns were also running around the ship like the Doctor, Amy and Avery.

    I’m loving Matt Smith’s performances more and more though. I loved him last year, but I feel like he’s even better this year, and I thought he was really good in this one.

  2. cupidsbow says:

    Oh, and I also loved the alien bogeys bit, particularly when the Doctor wiped it on Amy’s coat, simply for her reaction. Not disgust, or outrage, just “Yeah, I knew that was coming.” I loved it.

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