Every year in Doctor Who, there’s one of those episodes that just sort of… happen. You don’t dislike them, exactly, they’re just the first ones you go to skip when the DVD is out. Think “Vampires of Venice”, “The Doctor’s Daughter” or “42”.
And hopefully, here is the Season 6 version. I say hopefully, because I do not want this season to stoop so low again. It wasn’t even a bad episode, per se, just staggeringly below average.
After the mind-fuckage of the last couple of weeks, I was one of the few people looking forward to an episode off from the “Lost”ness of all the mysteries and questions. A nice standalone, fun adventure with pirates. And beards. Lovely. But instead the first half was just the cast running around the ship trying to figure out how Lily Cole was getting in, and the second half trying to figure out how to get Rory away. Yawn. Doctor Who with pirates should be ridiculous, bonkers fun not…. this.
It wasn’t all bad/average though. Karen Gillan was superb, really trying her best to make us believe that Rory had been killed AGAIN. I mean, I didn’t believe it for an instant, but it was still amazing acting on her part. And that other Amazonian redhead, Lily Cole, was also amazing. A beautiful piece of CGI, and when she kept suddenly turning red, genuinely scary. Plus, there was some lovely comedy going on, particularly when Rory was trying to get to the Siren. And the alien bogeys. Loved those.
As for the bad, well:
- Why was no-one stopping the pirates going to the Siren? Everyone’s trying to keep Rory and that snot-faced kid away, but fuck the pirates.
- The snot-nosed kid. Yeurch. I was genuinely pleased and admiring of the balls it took to kill a kid on prime time BBC One, but of course he came back.
- So… shattered glass just stops reflecting?
- I do not buy Hugh Bonneville as a ruthless murdering pirate. Not for one second.
- I do not buy that a 17th Century pirate could sail a spaceship. Not one bit.
- Where did Libby’s Dad off of EastEnders go? One minute he had the black spot, the next he was gone.
- How did the Siren jump out of the water in the barrel during the storm? I’m willing to bet that water was not calm since the barrel was having the shit knocked out of it.
- Oh it’s a father and a son. They’re not close. He loves gold too much. I wonder what’ll happen by the end? That’s right the same thing that always happens with these storylines. The dad’s redeemed, learns his lesson, they go off all happy. Shocker.
- Why did everyone else end up in a hospital bed, but the Doctor Amy, and Avery were just dumped in the hold?
- STOP KILLING RORY. NO ONE IS BUYING IT ANYMORE.
Sigh. I hate episodes like this because Doctor Who should be better. I’m not angry, just disappointed.
But srsly, what the fuck is that eyepatch lady about?! I’m certain she’s got something to do with Amy’s “pregnancy”.