Actually, having thought about it, let’s not

The last few Comic/Sport Reliefs have been a bit… shit. At the last one the only funny bit was the French & Saunders Mamma Mia! spoof and the rest of it was wank. And really, Lenny Henry just retire to a Premier Inn somewhere and stay off my TV.

So it’s been nice to have Let’s Dance For Comic Relief. Every year, you get at least one amazing dance (Robert Webb, Rufus Hound, Katy Brand etc) and so hopes are always high. Then you remember that aside from those few entertaining dances it’s about 90% filler and rubbish.

The presenters are one problem. Whilst Steve Jones is VERY pretty, he’s not the most relatable of presenters, which was sorted for the past few years by teaming him with Claudia “Batshit mental in a lovable way” Winkleman. This year he has Alex Jones of of The One Show, and frankly I’ve seen sponges with more natural charisma and comic timing.

As for the “LOLtastic” VTs before the dances, I think we can all agree they can go. They’re not funny. They’re just a waste of the celebrities time, and mine. Get rid.

If the others have proved anything, it’s that the brilliant dances involve someone doing a routine you wouldn’t expect (in drag preferably) dancing really well, and not trying to be “funny” during their routine. Apparently people still haven’t learnt this.

Thus we end up with Colin & Justin. Stop gurning. Stop trying so hard. And most of all DO AN INTERSTING ROUTINE. Nobody has cared about Xanadu since about 1983, and frankly they didn’t really give a shit then. I ignored most of this routine and ate my dinner instead.

If anyone has a chance of winning this thing then it’s Russell Kane. Amazing. The pouts, the kicks, the boobs. I’ve never been more attracted to a woman which is wrong on about eleventy different levels.

I was expecting good things from this since Rebecca Front is so good in The Thick of It. But is “It’s Oh So Quiet” really known for it’s dance routine? It gets going towards the end but this shouldn’t have been used in the first place.

(Note: for some reason this one isn’t working, so just follow the link if you want to watch it)

I hate Waterloo Road for beating both Doctor Who and Sherlock at the NTAs the other week (seriously, what retards are voting on that thing?) but I was pleasantly surprised by this. An old man break dancing quite well is funny. Bravo. However most of the dance being done by professional back-up dancers? Uncool.

I laughed when Arlene Phillips came on. And globvs she can dance, it’s her job, for Christ’s sake. Ed Byrne, meanwhile, just can’t. And what could have been a really good routine is ruined by the fact that you’re always feeling slightly awkward as you watch someone who can’t dance, dance.

Is she just doing it so people will think she’s nice? Or funny? Does she get the joke? Was literally any of this her idea? Who knows, but as long as she turns up for the final saying as many insanely inappropriate things as she did in the interviews this week, I’ll be happy.

So Russell Kane and Katie Price are through the the final and in the coming weeks we get “treated” to Lee Nelson. I don’t care what he does, all I know is I want him dead. Then maybe I’ll donate some money.


About rmdbutler

2007 Brit Award nominee for Best International Female
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