These Streets Will Make You Feel Brand New

So Glee is officially a phenomenon. It’s huge all over the world. We all know that. Unfortunately, we’ve all seen huge programmes become a bit shit after the first massive season. Remember how big Desperate Housewives was? Or Ugly Betty?

Since I’ve watched all of the first half of Season 2, I can confirm it gets very good. However, it does mean sitting through some… shall we say lacklustre episodes, and some downright bad ones. This first episode is more in the lacklustre.

I’m not saying it’s bad, just not amazing. As a “welcome back” episode, it’s brilliant. Introduces the new characters, has some non-controversial songs, and is just quintessential Glee. But the storyline is muddled, the new characters aren’t particularly good and the songs are forgettable.

First off, the new characters. Coach Beiste is amazing. I was completely expecting her to be Sue MKII and a complete bitch and therefore was pleasantly surprised to find she actually had feelings. A character that looks (and let’s not sugarcoat it) like a dude and had the piss regually taken out of them, only to make you feel terrible about it, is so Glee. No other programme would think to do that, just rely on the usual fat jokes, but Glee actually makes you think about what you’re doing. Awesome.

I can confirm Sam gets better. Really. I know in this episode he’s boring, sings an utterly dreadful song, and is a bit of a douche to Finn, but pretty soon he gets sweet, a bit geeky and takes his clothes off a lot. It’s very nice.

As for Sunshine, good riddance. Apparently, she’s back in the second half of the season but I bloody hope not. The girl can’t act. At all. She has no personality and any attempt to give her one by giving her a “quirky” fashion sense failed miserably. Mainly because her clothes were hideous and made her look like TinTin’s lesbian roommate.

Our regulars, meanwhile, were a mixed bag. Globviously, Sue and Brittany continue to be the best characters on TV (particularly loved Brit hugging the doll of her when leaving Mr Figgins’ office), and Rachel continues to be the most oddly lovable cow ever. Seriously, how does she make being such an ambitious bitch so endearing?

But the boys weren’t so lucky. Finn is useless. Can’t dance, sing or act, and frankly I’m not sure why he’s with Rachel but I just don’t buy that he’s in love with her. And as for Mr Schue? Douchebag. He has been a douchbag for a tleast half of Season 1, and don’t expect it to let up any time soon. He does have pretty eyes though…. curse my shallowness!

The Songs

Empire State of Mind: Lovely. Great way to kick off the new season. Great song, great outfits, great dancing, and Mr Schue doesn’t rap. I’m not saying the boys who do are any good, but I think we can all agree, they’re better than him. A

Telephone: Didn’t like it. According to iTunes, I’m in the minority, but Rachel was way too auto-tuned, and Sunshine was barely trying. No sass, whatsoever. Plus, let’s face it, it was never going to come close to the original, was it? Some EPIC hair flicks from Rachel though. C

Billionaire: Groan. Hate this song. A song by a very rich man, complaining he’s not quite rich enough. If they were trying to endear me to Sam, mission failed. He sings it very nicely though. D

Listen: Check out Beyonce’s version of this. Or Alexandra Burke’s, actually. Then watch or listen to Sunshine’s. And cower at the lack of power or emotion she puts into it. God, the more I think about her, the more I hate her. D

What I Did For Love: A standard power-ballad from a Broadway muscial sung by Rachel. Told you they weren’t controversial song picks. What I don’t understand is 30 seconds before, she admitted she’d done it for herself not love for the others. So, it actually doesn’t makke much sense. C

The Quotes

“How do you respond to a recent post on my blog saying your Glee club song selection sound like they come from a drag queen’s iPod?” – Jacob to Will

“People thought I went on vacation but I really spent the summer lost in the sewers.” – Britanny

“A female football coach like a male nurse – sin against nature.” – Sue

“Shut up!” Sue’s reaction to Sunshine. Correct.

“Yes, these seats are currently being occupied by my ghost friends …. hideous, lonely faculty members who met an early death by good old fashioned school yard bullying. And you know why? Because they tried to cross me.” – Sue

“Oh, and Boobs McGee – you’re demoted to the bottom of the pyramid so when it collapses your exploding sandbags will protect the squad from injury. Now take your juicy, unripened chest and get the hell out of my office.” – Sue

“Stop the violence” – Brittany’s reaction to Quinn and Santana’s fight

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About rmdbutler

2007 Brit Award nominee for Best International Female
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